Now, just to get my file busted out of that long Army warehouse

 

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I hit gold.

The Defense Intelligence Agency has TWO DOCUMENTS with five pages  – count em – 5, five, aka (5) pages, related to good old me – Shelby G. Spires.  

Five pages!

 Insane!

 Incredible!

The Five Pillars of Shelby G.!

Of course, said documents – TWO OF THEM – are related to another agency and have to be forwarded to said agency, or agencies, for review and release, but after two months, about $15 in postage and probably five hours of my time, my quest has generated – D O C U M E N T S.

Throw me the whip, DIA.

Now, I have made four trips to the super-secret Missile Space Intelligence Center, on Redstone Arsenal, in Alabama, between 2002 and 2010. As MSIC, (say MISS ICK), is run and staffed by the Defense Intelligence Agency, then I am pretty sure that when a lonely clerk goes into a long, long warehouse full of boxes, crates and assorted humming storage containers my records will probably be about a long ago trip to talk about how missiles are reversed engineered and the Afghanis make drainpipes out of bits of Army Hellfires.

Still, that is something after all the taking away of my name, gender and giving me a number jobs done me up by the NSA and CIA.  Don’t get me started on the appeals process with Spookville Alpha, the Department of Homeland Security or US Marshalls.

Of course, it is far better than the Army, which said I needed to provide them with id, and, oh by the way, have you heard, Shelby G. Spires, of this thing we call Electronic Mail (aka Email)? Well give us your Electronic Mail address. Hmmm … wonder if I can communicate with DA via CompuServe?

Having asked for a load of identification procedures, out of date codes and what not, the Army then tells me they are denying my request and I gotta start over again.

I love this. This is the United States Army right down to the khaki they do not claim to wear any longer – IT IS DIGITAL KHAKI NOW, SOLDIER!

“With that said, we are closing this request due to insufficient documentation for a proper FOIA request. You will need to re-submit a FOIA request with the proper documentation to include a copy of …” 14 documents and a DNA swab it seems like “in order to receive your information.”

Department of the Army, always, if anything, predictable.

Now, to get that idol. 
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